Milk And Cookies...with extra cheese

You asked if there was anything Mariah Carey hasn't made slutty and here's your answer. She has managed to make Granny's chocolate chip cookies look like they've been laced with gonorrhea.

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Helicopter Love

The New York Post claims that Madonna and ARod had a secret getaway to Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in The Hamptons last week.

According to The Post, a helicopter carrying Rodriguez was spotted landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up Oct. 21 in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica's car.

Less than 40 minutes later, another chopper carrying Madonna took off from NYC's Chelsea Piers and landed at the same airstrip, the paper reports.

If Rodriguez has a granny fetish he should go for Cloris Leachman, she looks the same and has a better personality.

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Sarah Supports

Sarah Jessica Parker volunteered for the Obama campaign in New York making calls to undecided voters in the New York area.

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Simpson

So remember Jessica Simpson's movie that debuted at number one in Russia? Well not the over here!

Turns out you can pick up this cinematic masterpiece when it comes straight to DVD! Oh what joy!

It's also going to be renamed upon release...check out this winner...Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous. If that doesn't sound like something you're picking up for your Blockbuster night I don't know what does.

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The City Promo Pics

The cast of Whitney Port's spin off, The City, hit the streets of New York for some promo shots. It's not fair to put girls with 0.2 percent body fat in the streets like that...couldn't they have gotten a green screen? They are going to die.

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Just Stop Trying

Courteney Cox is headed for another television series, will the Friends curse still remain?

Cox will star in Cougar Town, a comedy about a forty something single mom dealing with getting old.

Her last attempt was Dirt, which just got cancelled.

The only cancellation I don't agree with involving the Friends was Matthew Perry's Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. This was a great show, I actually think I'm getting choked up just thinking about it...I'll be OK.

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Daddy A & Daddy B

Ryan and Deacon leave Karate, Ryan's looking a bit Madden-esque these days, I no like it.

And Deacon and Jake and get some coffee.

How many times you think that "You're not my Daddy" line has been pulled? Or they could be like the Bady Bunch.

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Happy Halloween

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon go out for a night dressed as fire fighters. Don't worry Nick had his safety flashlight the whole time and she check all his candy when they got home.

And Tweedledum and Tweedildumber went out as cop and criminal. Please be loaded, please be loaded.

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Olsen In NYC

The normal Olsen hits Letterman.

The duo (her and her Troll sister) are on a promotional blitz for their book Influence.

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Holmes...not Sherlock

Ok, it's cold as hell in New York, as you can see there are people around Katie and Suri that are bundled up, GET THAT KID A JACKET! Those blankets do not substitute for pants and a coat.

And I'm not sure if they are supposed to be reping for the pumpkins but leave the matching outfits for The Beckhams.

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*UPDATED*

Two other kids out and about in NYC yesterday. Looking purty damn cold!

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Oh Punky

The gossip world is at a stand still. The top story on People's Website for the last like, 5 hours, has been that Soleil Moon Frye renewed her vows. Yes, Punky Brewster. And it's not even wedding news it's a vow renewal, that's shite.

The days of waking up to hours of video of Britney high out of her tree making midnight stops at Walmart, or Lindsay Lohan slamming her car into stationary objects are over. Do we have to wait until Miley Cyrus gets her first taste of coke to get a headline? I know it won't be long but still..I don't wanna!

Anyways, did you hear Punky Brewster reneewed her wedding vows...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

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I have listened to Hillary Duff's new song a couple times and I hang my head in shame as I state that I actually like it. I deserve to be stoned.

It's totally ripped from Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode but I never really like that song so there's no hard feelings here.

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More Nesta

It's like Zuma-mania today.

Gwen posted this pic of her and her newest boy on her website.

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Oh So Hip

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson spent the day in New York and their mode of transportation was the Subway. Lindsay needs to get her ass a job (and not that Ugly Betty one either, she's shit in that). Next thing you know homie will be lining up at soup kitchens, fighting with Merna and her pet squirrel for the last dinner roll.

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MJ Masks

Micheal Jackson and his kids leave a party. Halloween is a good time for them, it's really the only time their everyday attire is acceptable.

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ZUMA!

Gwen Stefani took baby Zuma to the library yesterday and there's face time! It got a bit hectic when they thought they lost him, turns out he was just off researching a new name.

I guess they didn't have a contract with a rag, cause if they did they just chucked a whole bunch of money down the pooper with these shots.

Whatever, he's cute.

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Guess Who

It's Heidi!

Who's going as a trashy school girl this Halloween? Like, Duh!

Movie Money

Jessica Simpson's latest cinematic masterpiece Major Movie Star has debuted at number on in the box office...the Russian box office.

The film doesn't have any release dates in countries with English as the first language, the next Country the movie's set to open in is Bulgaria.

God help them.

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Jessica Biel Does Red Carpet

No.

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New Couple Alert

Kingston Rossdale put the moves on Ruby (my arch enemy, Tobey McGuire's, daughter) in his new ride.

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Wednesday: Cover Day

People and Us Magazine look into Jennifer Hudson's tragic loss to sell issues.

OK! ...yeah Ok...

Star says Brad's a cheater. And the twins got boob jobs, silicone doesn't hold to bone Star.

InTouch sticks with the fact that Jennifer Aniston's knocked up. And Suri went to the Tyra Show and got a make over aka she got her bangs cut.



Life and Style tried to create a fued.

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Driver To Goodwill

I would say Minnie Driver looks good, you know cause she just had a baby and all but I can't in all good conscious say that about someone in this outfit.

She's the Jiffy Pop Princess, and that should you insist on wearing that thing it should be a shirt not an outfit.

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A Standing O For PETA

These masks are the best thing I have ever locked eyes with.

Mary Kate and Ashlee Olsen appeared at a Barns & Noble for a book signing and they were met with the crazies from PETA.

Just because I think PETA, as an organization, is just as bat shit as Scientology doesn't mean I won't give props to them fort this fabulous display. The depiction...just brilliant...clap clap clap.

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Daddy's Girl Forever

Britney Spears' father has been names permanent conservator of her affairs as well as co-conservator of her estate.

Brit's lawyer insists that Britney suggested this many times and it was her decision.

When Britney becomes fit to manage her affairs on her own the conservatorship can be lifted. The word permanent is used so there will not have to be hearings to renew the order.

In other words no candy for Britney unless it comes out of her weekly allowance for babysitting her kids.



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It's About GOD DAMNED Time!

A new episode of 9210 will air tonight, for a show that's getting pretty bad reviews they can't really afford to be taking two week breaks.

Not that I'd go anywhere....I have nothing better to do.

Don't Do That Again

Tom Cruise keeps it Gangster at Matt Lauer's roast.

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The Jonas Brothers (Nick, Joe and Kevin plus younger bro Frankie) are set to star in a film version of the popular children's book Walter The Farting Dog. This book is nasty, my nephew has it and while reading it to him there was actual gagging taking place but kids love it. The dog is stank but everyone loves it blah blah blah.

The Jonas Brothers will play musicians who help their parents care for the dog just before its owner, their aunt, passes away.

"By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie, and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter,"

Stay tuned for the faint sounds of young girls screaming across the Nation.